For You Who Hate to Read

Let's say you're not exactly the most eager reader. You know if it's you. If you were one of the ones who "suddenly" had to go to the bathroom whenever Mr. Carter would start his reading conferences (which meant silent reading time), then you're one of them. You're one of you. Admit it. In fact, if you are one of you, then you're not even reading this right now. You're instead playing Call of Duty or whatever other mind-numbing inactive "activity" (a misnomer, as the base of that word is active) you're engaged in right now.

Well, it's my hope that, if you're not going to get outside and get some exercise--or, at best, if you're looking for something to do when the sun goes down--you will at least read something instead of laying around with drool oozing from the side of your mouth.

And assuming that you're wondering what you can read as the ooze congeals, why don't you try some of these books, recommended for people who hate to read:


Akiko and the Planet Smoo by Mark Crilley

This series of books is one that my students used to love. The characters, the interplanetary adventure, and the humor all make this a book that is not only easily read, but it's hard to put down. My students used to beg me not to stop reading when I would read these books. In fact, I had a 20-year-old former student look at me in disgust when I told him that no, I did not read these books to my students anymore.

Admittedly, the first volume is merely the first chapter in the first adventure of Akiko, an Asian fourth grader living in the town of Middleton, USA; Spuckler, the space pirate; Mr. Beeba, the erudite lover of literature and education; Gax, Spuckler's trusty rust-bucket assist; and Poog, a floating head with a slight grin and a way with soothing anyone. But it's okay, because the characters (okay, maybe with an assist from Mr. Carter's voice box, but that's not all of it) are well-fleshed out, the adventure is real, and the books are very well-done. The adventures don't stop at the first four, but if you can track these down, then read them. You won't be sorry.


Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DeCamillo

Maybe this and Akiko have one thing in common: both were authored by people who used to e-mail back and forth with the 5-1 classroom, but the reason for that fact is that I love this book. I loved it long before the movie came out (and the movie is exactly like the book). This book is so good that it is the one book in which I will read a "bad word" out loud to the class when I read it out loud. (It's the h-word, in case you were wondering.) But it's so well-written that it never comes off as offensive.

In case you're unfamiliar, the story is about a girl who lives in the panhandle of Florida as the daughter of a preacher in what amounts to a trailer park. She finds a dog in a grocery store (a Winn-Dixie, of course) and the mutt becomes a catalyst for the people of the town--the kids, the crazy witch-lady (who really isn't), the mentally handicapped man who works in the pet store, and that just scratches the surface of this incredibly heartfelt book. I read this in one sitting. Honestly. It's just that good. And it looks like a girl book. So girl or boy, this is good. I would recommend this book to my grandma.


Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney.

Yeah, I realize that this is pretty much the only book (or series) that most of you read over the past school year, assuming you're one of the bathroom-lovers I spoke of earlier, unless you read the first chapter of The Hunger Games before giving up because it had so darn many words), but this book is just plain funny. Honestly, I laugh out loud about every other page when I'm reading these books. So yeah, I can't fault you if you like these books. But I can fault you if you're a non-reader and you haven't even tried them.

Yeah, you, bathroom-lover. I'm talking to you! Read these books! You can even enjoy them in the bathroom. But we all know you never really needed to use the bathroom.

But you will be if you don't start reading.

Please don't be amongst the uneducated non-book-readers. Read. Read anything. Come on! And looking at pictures doesn't count. You're not fooling anyone, least of all yourself.